Another chapter seems to have entered the crazy life of me. I'm a person that wants only the best for those around her. Yet, the simple tasks of setting boundaries for any semi-healthy relationship. I just cant do it, no idea why. The catch 22 is that if there were ever any one singular person that understood my inability for boundaries. They would learn that I would amaze them even more than I have ever done before.
I like to challenge authority, desperately wanting some one to take charge, hold me close and say everything will be okay. Yet, the world, karma, god, eternal forces, whatever you call it is not allowing you to feel but you can give that feeling to others. You can be the comfort in pain, the joy in sadness, and the strength in hardships. I can give that to any person that I know, at my choosing because everyone needs a little help sometimes.
Well where's mine? It's a selfish statement, but true for almost every person out there. We have a limitless desire for wanting what is best for ourselves, children, or loved ones. I can give these feelings, and I receive them occasionally but not near as much as I think I deserve. I have high standards but what is wrong with wanting to be completely unconditionally loved. I've never felt it. maybe once, there was one person who did for a while. Thats it. never before, never after.
So allow me the chance to be loved, be taken care of, loved for my faults and bitch sessions. Im young, only 23. My heart feels like it's thirty-something. And my soul feels age-less yet experienced.
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