A little over a year and a half ago, I informed my family that I would be moving to Texas. 1200 miles away, far from anything I knew or felt comfortable with. My reasons were clear and concise. No, it was not a man. No, it was not to run from any problem. and No, it was not to get a teaching job.
I moved to save my life.
No one quite understands and I dont expect them to, but that city and state. Being in that environment was killing me. It started long before I even knew what was happening. Even I didnt at first; but my soul knew. Deep down, my mind and body knew that if I would have stayed in that place I would become something I hated. Shit, I already was something I hated. So I made a choice, to leave it all. Not turn back. There was no other option, it was not time. I had found that out before, my multiple failed attempts to end my life proved two things. One, it wasnt my time to go and two, whatever force kept me here is one stubborn bitch to stand up to me. There hasn't been a lot of people or situations that have made me stop in my tracks and retreat; but that force did. It stopped me, made me realize what was going on. I let myself slip, I let something else define who I was.
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